Deja Vu, Delusions, firsts, and so much more....

It's 12:30 am and I had a few drinks, 2 and a half shooottzz to be exact. One shot for each kind of drink.... hindi ko naman matanggihan.... hahahaha.... good thing na.realize sa "gunner" na I'm not used to drinking and said --- "ah... dili nka,, luoy na kaayo ka tan.awon... (after 2 shots pa lang)" hahahaha.... can't blame me,,, I turn red easily,, even just for a single drink pa lang... or 1 shot.... imagine... they said "pula na kaayo ka" after those 2 shots....

but before that..... yeah.. they finally spilled the beans... and it turns out I was right! I'm the only person who didn't know about the issue, even some of our "famileeee" who wasn't involve or didn't have anything to do with the issue knew about it. Though, my "pagmahai" was, if not gone, lessened because she told me that I should be the first person to know about the issue but I ran an errand during that time due to the demands of my "familleeee".... and she has to let out her feelings at that moment so she shared it to somebody.... and when I came back,, how naive of me not to notice anything. oh well, I guess everything happens for a reason.... If I knew about it a little earlier I don't know what or how am I supposed to act towards her... Anyway, I'll post an update as soon as the matter will be settled.

My friends told me I am naive, insensitive, blind, clueless, not observant, etc... you get the picture. A friend of mine also said "no wonder about the HS class incident... ---> the one where I am the person who was really involved but I really had no idea until the fated confrontation"... hahaha... that brings back memories... It's not that I am all those things, well I guess I am, but I am the person who does not jump into conclusions. I rather know things and even declare something based on evidences and when I am directly told. I love puzzles but don't get me wrong, I'm not good at putting them together in real scenarios especially if there are glitches. I want to know about the matters directly, no sugar coating or whatsoever, I just want to know about it direct, straightforward, and complete. of course I have gut feelings too but I don't want to assume although I do most of the time. They told me some of my characteristics/attitudes which I know nothing about... and to think I thought I already know myself.... They even told me I am really unpredictable and very hard to decipher, well that part.. I admit, I think so too.

This delusion is probably... I don't know! It's just that I don't put malice in everything, especially if it's with my friends. Like I said, although I have gut feelings already but I don't want to assume and declare since I don't want to eat my words.. Besides, it is nothing.. Everybody (most) rather, tell lies... or it is just NOTHING!!! plain nothing!!! although it would be better if..... it will be a roman holiday and you swept me off my feet... you can really take me... I can come with you, just say so.... hahahaha.... ok! this is due to excessive exposure to movies and fiction books.

Now What?!?

Ok. Is this my official diary now? hahaha... I remember having one way back when I was in high school. After 3 years (I think) upon reading my daily journal, guess what?!? yup! LUOD!!! hahahaha.... so I ended up burning that notebook... I regret burning it na nuon... hahahaha.....

It was a fun day... (lol. just like a diary)... nothing special.... hahahaha.... ok. The friend I like less because that friend is friends with someone, i don't know how to explain it, let's just leave it at that. Anyway, we bumped into each other kanina, that friend talked to someone of course. And me, myself, and I... well... I ignored everything,, pretended to ignore everything. Someone don't have any clue that we're friends (maybe), and well,, I don't know if it's just me or what... basta! hahaha... samok! hirap i.explain.... Someone asked the super obvious question,, and of course he was answered an obvious answer --- "dili obvious??" ---- hahahaha.... bottom line... SO?? wala lang... hahaha....

it's just that after hearing several hours ago the acoustic version of the song which reminds me of someone and somebody..... I saw someone,,, and the turn of events?? well.... as of the moment,, it goes with my plans pa naman.... hahahahaha

Follow up::: I think after 19yrs of practice and expertise..... someone has seen through my lies..... nobody has seen through that act before.... or was I just really beginning to be a terrible liar?? and are my actions does not coincide with my words anymore?? I need some practice!!! hahahaha

I feel like SH*T

Ok. This was supposed to be a tweet (tweeter), but I guess pwede napud dani since no one cares to read my stupid ramblings. You know why I feel like sh*t? hah! of course not. why should you bother anyway.

but just in case you're still reading this, and is really eager to know why I feel like (you know what). First, this is my second time this year to have a sore throat, accompanied by cough and cold. 2nd, I didn't pass any of my preliminary exams... well some, yes, but for my standards, I don't think so. God! what's wrong with me?!?! It feels like this isn't me anymore. Then, I don't know what went into my mind that I've decided to go home during my 4 hours break -- probably influenced by my colds and sore throat--.

I'm not feeling well that's why I feel like (what's the word, that's the word!). oohh!!! Who am I kidding!!!! All these ramblings just boils down to one particular reason why.... I don't understand myself because there's still this tiny hope that -that was for me. Nah! scratch that out! I think WISH is a suitable word that fits perfectly. There's still that WISH that it was meant for -you know.. the 2 letter word that begins with M and ends with E- Although, I know it's just a mere wish, that's all there is and that's all it's gonna be. I did not fit even just a single description, hah! my wish right?! Actually, I am the opposite of all those things that were mentioned, the total opposite - so I should erase that hope, but the problem is... I can't!!! not now... but probably someday!!!

the key is ACCEPTANCE!!! hahahahaha.... -- I'd Lie -Taylor Swift ;P -- but you're still one of my frenemy!!! wait!!! acquainemy (declared by me :P)!!! wait!!! SILENT ACQUAINEMEY!!! Perfect!!! hahahaha!!! ok!!! I should start browsing for my market updates if I don't want to be late for class

Hater na Kung Hater

You've always been my number 1 kontra-bida!! Ever since I've met you nadagdagan nah ang kaguluhan ko sa world. I couldn't figure you out!! Everybody's telling me the same story, but you've shown me a different version (and still continues on showing me that), although there were a FEW (very few) times where you coincide with their story but that lasted for less than a second. I weighed the two, and there's really a big difference... action speaks louder than words ika nga. Anyway, why should I care naman diba? It's because, wala pai bagag dagway na tao na nangaway sa ako ug ing.ana.... hahahaha.... If what they say is true about me and karma being one, then it would be entertaining to see or know how have you been.... but seeing things the way they are, how unfortunate it is to know that they were awfully wrong. you think I already forgot all those things, hell no! remember, a wise man forgives but never forgets.

You think you're cooler than me... you should listen to THIS... or THIS... although the latter about the 80's shade is not applicable to you,,, it can be sa other kuwan... hahahaha.... I never fell for your tricks, so stop treating me like this you probably won't you think you're cooler than me.... you got designer choo choos whatever, and you wear them around, like they ain't shit.... see I got you all figured out, you need everyone's eyes just to feel seen. you're so vain, you probably think that this post is about you. don't you? don't you? lol, but its true. hahahaha...