13th

I've been debating with myself over this matter for as long as I can remember. I was never into this job even from the beginning,, OJE pa lang. OJE pa lang gyud, I know that this was not my thing. Unfortunately, I passed the OJE even though I was late during that 2-day-evaluation, and that's one of the factors why I accepted this job and chosen it over 2 other opportunities,, make that three, including the workshop --- oohh... don't make me start blabbing about the workshop--- moving on... yeah,, well, there were several instances which made me say "I've had enough! I quit!" then at the end of the day... "but then again...." and just when I was about to doze off "ok! I can't keep on doing these things for 2 more years"... it's a never ending debate until I've settled on a choice. Either a firm choice, which I doubt will happen, or a no turning back action, which is obviously connected with the title of this entry....

There were signs presented this day to help me with my decision:
1. In the Manager's Log book, GY manager wrote something about someone submitting ze controversial letter,,.. The book did not mention any names,, LOL
2. I got an email from DTI stating that I passed that one hell of a technical exam! and that I have another oral interview on Friday,, Bad news, I have a duty on that day.. Good News, No worries for the swap... Bad News, I'm giving up "no dragon day" and must encounter face-to-face with ze mythical and most anticipated DRAGON!!!
3. Despite having a very very usual bad day (although it was worse),, people checked up on me saying "Okay ra ka ma'am? ayaw pa apekto ma'am! sagdi sila ui! ayaw ka.stress" simple words that meant a lot and surprisingly made a deep impact... Plus, "kasab.i ma'am! buotan ra man sad kaayo ka! awata si *someone na di ko feel coz ang iyang aura is di masabtan*" naks! diay?!? okay! I'm minimizing my usage of annoying (to some) words....


aaahhh.... so which is which? To pursue, continue, and in a hope that someday I'll like what I am doing.... or take that RISK!!! aaaahhh >.<


The truth is... I'm still UNDECIDED!!!!