L O S T

After much thought and thorough deliberation, I finally came up with a decision... eeehh!!! Wrong!!!

Tuesday.... June 19, 2012 at around 10:32 AM I got the most dreaded call....

Let's move a little way back.... 9:23AM --> I got the call from *Insert name here* informing me that I have an orientation at 1pm even if I'm not yet done with the requirements coz I'll start working tomorrow... so I said okay... I'm on my way to the medical examination center to deliver my test samples xp bringing with me several documents and a book... I already prepared everything I have to bring, most especially my bio-data so I can get my sss nah, with the help of course from my friend's father. Then for some unknown reason, probably because of my being forgetful, I realized that I left the most important document, which is my bio-data, when I arrived at the center. So I hurriedly meet with A***, a fellow Jfinex officer, and gave him those garbage... oopps.. documents rather and the book.. I didn't even enter the campus and chose to ride the motorcycle to get to the jeepney stop to go back home and retrieve what I left.

As I was riding the motorcycle, my phone vibrated simultaneously signalling an incoming call. My heart palpitated. I pressed answer in a hope that it wasn't what I thought it was.. and yes it was! Tremor took over me. I got my most dreaded call.. I got the call before I could even get my sss, which I was about to do. They rang just when I was about to get my sss and finalize everything. I'm really thinking things over, no idea as to what was happening around me. I texted a few friends for help, some I guess was a bad idea (must keep in mind those people I should text), and of course I texted my mom. When I got home, my mom called telling me to figure things out. We had the talk over the weekend and she's biased I tell you. She favored the asdfghjkkl without even thinking of what I felt back then. My father, as usual, doesn't care what I'll choose. But then to my surprise, she's keeping her hands off of the matter and she's letting me decide, which of course doesn't help at that state. So as suggested, I went to see Sir **** the manager, to ask a few questions. It was a matter between life and death! LOL.. just kidding... I was hoping I could arrange things, and sadly, he said "no" and think things over. He explained a few things which should really require a lot of thinking, then it strikes me.... "personally, I mean, sa ako lang I want you here... but it's your own decision" The feeling of being wanted surpassed everything, then I said Yes! I think I deserve it. Having experienced being the last resort was HELL,,, thanks to quite a FEW, very FEW friends (could personally name them) who made me realize some things. I may be living the dream of some that's why I did what I did.

I might not like what my soon to be Job is, but for sure I will enjoy doing it because of those awesome people. Those people who can make me feel special. The people who have seen my worth. They didn't look past me. I had been informed that one of my OJE-mates did not get the call. That's when I wondered what's the factor for the selection? She's got beauty but I can say I have the brains, although it takes time for someone to figure that out, not in a matter of 2 days or so. I'm the only one who arrived late during the OJE. Was always last, during the initial interview via skype I was 30min late; During the first day of OJE, arrived 2min late good thing Sir **** was late as well, During the 2nd day of OJE I arrived 20min late and they even found out.. it went like "good morning sir" and he's like "good morning :) you're late *grin*" (I can't forget that haunting smile,.. thought that was the end of it)... even during the final interview. I'm also the only one who don't have any experience yet, the youngest in the group. Others had been or is in a managerial position -- when you think about it, I'm just a noob in the group. Yet, despite that, they might have seen my potential. I did not even show my TOR yet, not that it's something worth boasting about -- well good thing they didn't ask for my TOR yet, else I'm doomed!!! Anyway, the point is, they picked me among others! No idea why.. I did not even take written exams which will test your intelligence or that kind of stuffs... well we only took situational essay... an essay that's too easy! LOL

I decided to inform them (asdfghjkl) personally, while still discerning and on my way to asdfghjkl while texting some friends.... Since I don't want to be late for the so-called orientation, in case I change my mind, I decided na mag.double ride nalang... And just when I stepped out sa aircon na car, too late for me to realize na wala man diay "step" so ayun... SPLAK!! that embarrassing moment.... natauhan ko kalit! hahahaha.... I took it as a sign,, like the one when I was about to get my bio-data and file for sss... Fastforward Home.... Kala ko everything's okay nah,, hindi pala.... I was greeted by a letter from the government agency which I applied for 2months ago informing me that I passed the test and is scheduled for another test. Talk about perfect timing!!

Then I got the sarcastic remark at a time like this! It may look fun but it's not!!! I thought the shedding of tears days were over... guess I was wrong!! hhmmm.... I can still remember feeling overjoyed when I was asked for the interview and exam.... Haven't heard from them so I've moved on.... then all of a sudden after a month or so, asking me to have a final interview. I was hesitant due to the thought that it was just because of someone I know and not because of the fact that they want me there, but I still went there and to my dismay... ok! erase erase!!.... for the first, I cried at a cab, not because I got my heart broken but because I got my i-dont-know-what broken.... It was even raining during that time... alone, crying at the cab... then moved on.... Next,, when they call me again for another interview after a million years -- again due to someone I know, and not because they want me... Finally, when I didn't accept the job and somebody said something.... When I told my mom about this, except for the emo part thingy, I was surprised she's reasoning with the same reasons I have. She finally see it MY way. I can tell, apart from me, only 2 people see the matter like how I see it. Appreciate that so much.. Thank you!! Ok, so the other 1 is my mom...

I also would like to thank my fellow OJE-ans for the wisdom.... Thank you =)) I know sometimes we have to be frank, but we must not forget that a person has his/her own limits too. Di lahat ng oras feel mo kaya nya... Wag na kasi dumagdag pah!!! Fine... my fault.... ako na... lagi naman...... like what? sure! rot in hell? oh I will!!! Ok lang pala na kahit lahat ng tao ayaw sa'yo,,, basta alam mo there are still people who believe in you. Who'll stand with you..... and that.... that's what I call FRIEND =)) Thank you

Notes: Decisions... decisions.... we have to make certain choices.... Kala ko Astig tignan... the truth is, it's different if you're the one who's actually in that position and the one who's just watching.... Regrets? Happy naman ako with my choice,,, my brain is telling me that's just plain stupid but my self worth is thanking me right now.

Dilemma

I'm supposed to be happy right now, right? Ecstatic even! But then I'm NOT!!! If it came a month earlier or so, it would have been different. I might even look past the waiting-for-several-hours-but-was-eventually-neglected. Now, If I ever get that call, I must make a decision.. a tough decision. I already thought about the pros and cons yesterday but still can't come up with a decision so I thought maybe putting it into writing might help.

Management Trainee or Accounting Staff? Which is which....

Accounting Staff:
Pros:

1. In line with my course
2. In 2 yrs, I can already take up my masters as planned
3. I can put my knowledge into practice and learn some accounting database
4. Dili kaayo expose akong dagway
5. Very Challenging in terms of pag.sayo and the bosses 

Cons:

1. BAWAL LATE.... if ma.late, broadcast lamang
2. Salary
3. That thing they did... (I might be forgetful, but things as heavy as that?!? Asa ka pa!!!)

Notes: 

* My Friends might kill me if I don't accept it

*If I accept it, what if pumalpak ako

Management Trainee:
Pros:

1. Every establishment has accounting staffs, but not all have Management Trainees or Managers in Training
2. Benefits/ Salary
3. Okay lang ma.late (They even PASS me sa OJE bisan late ko sa 2nd day) and wala daw deduction sa late (according sa dating worker didto)
4. Super Friendly the Managers
5. I'll get the chance to develop my verbal communication and relational skill
6. Hello Ayala
7. DAVAO and other places XD

Cons:

1. Exposed my face
2. Matatagalan pa my Masters
3. Have to speak to strangers

Notes:

* No pressure nga from everyone pero exposed naman my face

~~ Now I can totally post this... ayoko kasing mag.fineeling na matatanggap ako... pero ayun... tada

randomssss

What's new? Oh I'll tell you what's new! New is the fact that I still don't have a job considering it's ENROLLMENT time already! New is when I'm still at home planning to watch a few series after I'm done reading this book written by Gemma Burgess, who I find surprisingly witty, which I doubt I could apply all those stuffs written there except for the "Congratulations you just won a dinner with *insert your name here*!!" New is I still don't care!! wait... those aren't new!! Exactly!!! Nothing is new!!! and Nothing will ever be!!!

Thanks to the internet, laptop, a couple of dvds, and my portable I was able to waste my summer fantastically without ever thinking that 2 months has already passed. Very productive I'd say.

Randomnesssss.... randomness is when in the middle of reading a book or watching an episode of a series, you would blog something. Randomness is when you're friend sent you a message about a post she just saw which you happen to see several months ago then thinking thoughtfully in search for the answer which might seem apparent. Randomnessss is when you had a very very very long intellectually life-fulfilling conversation with two of your friends and a random person your friends knew over a bottle of rhum... ok, maybe 2 bottles,, regardless if you'll get the chance to apply if not all, some of them, some time. Who would've thought that the funniest and at the same time most serious discourses happen when people are semi-wasted, or prolly wasted! crash prolly! darn! I must stick with probably! it's PROBABLY you effin-- ok! whatever-- like what the book said, play it cool. Fake it until you feel it.

4am?!? 4AM I tell you!!! I was out till 4AM!!! can you believe that!!! The last time I was out was when the time the evil witch appeared in my life in the form of, yep! an evil witch!!! She made my life --no! not my life!-- she made my afternoon, and maybe the rest of the evening a total nightmare!!! ok! enough with the evil bitch! I mean witch! and did I mention she has this tattooed red-ish eyebrows which emphasizes her inquisitive deadly stare as if she were a cannibal eyeing her prey. well, she might be. enough said about the witch! She's gonna be popular!!

As much as I would love to share and tell you about stuffs I vaguely remember before memory loss hits me and forget all of them, I can't.... or maybe... just maybe....

Part-time

At around 11:30PM, I am finally done with the said training... or just the Q & A portion,.. together with 6 other people... Trainings are mostly done through videos and reading materials. I was surprised to see that I think, I am the only one who have actually read and have actually watched those videos beforehand. There were gazillions of them I tell you!! The instruction was to check the vids, I did not expect that the reading material is an assignment that's good for a week.. I've read and watch those for what? almost a day!!!

The first part. The signing of contract and the reading of terms and conditions took me roughly around 2 hours. Since it's already 3PM, plus it's raining wild cats and wild dogs making the videos barely audible, I decided to  get the 9PM training schedule. Ok. so it could only take a few minutes to sign-download-fill up-scan-save the 2 documents, but I want to know what I am about to enter into. My name's at stake here, I might get imprisoned just by signing; as they say -- Better be safe than sorry.-- Paranoid? nah! Just being cautious.

After sending the signed documents, at around five in the afternoon, I received another email from them. It's a training reading material to get me started. The first part of the video was composed of almost an hour of brief introduction explaining how things work. Then a few other vids. The vids would sum up around 3hours. Plus the reading materials which, in my opinion, take forever to read from cover to cover. It's like reading a novel. An audio-book novel to be exact.

I was tensed for a while as the clock approached 9PM. It will be my second time to actually use skype. Well, my first time to use it at home. Would you believe that my first time to use skype was last Friday?!? Yes! and it was a job interview. Ok moving on. let's not touch that subject! I was curious to meet these other people and to hear their voices. What it's like to group video-call on skype? The thought sends butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Finally the most awaited call came... and WOW!!! A group call with no camera and we're all on mute except for the trainer, or should I say - the call center agent. The poor call center agent whom I took the time to actually google for his background and find the time to explore his facebook, which I didn't quite succeed thanks to the privacy setting on facebook. The same call center agent, if I'm not mistaken, who was demonstrating on the vids. gawd! Talk about wearing several hats. I didn't know whether to laugh or admire his dedication and perseverance towards work. I can sense by his constant sniffing that he's not feeling well, however his voice leaves no trace of colds or sickness (aside from the sniffing). My guess is that he starts work at 3pm and ends at around 11pm there in Cebu. He probably even have other jobs for all I know. Now that's really something. I have to admire him for this.

While he was talking, I sensed that he is a filipino because of his accent. I mean, it's not SLANG enough. hahahahaha. but still, do I really have to communicate with him in english?!? I mean, cmon!! Let's love our language (yet I'm writing in English)!! Kelan kaya matututong mahalin ng mga pinoy ang sariling wika natin?

Tomorrow I'll officially start TRANSCRIBING!!!!