Another gloomy event

It was 1:00 in the afternoon and the sun should be high up shining brightly in the deep blue sky. However, today is the 7th day in the month of June: just the start of the rainy season, so gloomy days are expected.

It is also the start of my senior year in college and getting my heart broken is the last thing I could think of happening. ~gggrrr... I am piss that I didn't finish this during that time.... it's different doing this today, and that time. The "wrath-- hahahaha... I couldn't think of any adjectives or whatever and I'm too lazy to look up for synonyms, not to mention that my brain is not functioning well at the moment and is preoccupied thinking that I still have 2 preliminary exams tomorrow and I haven't studied yet-- isn't there anymore. so while waiting for the clock to strike 12 for my market update, I have decided to finish what I had started.~ Where were we? right. that. . .

well, obviously it was basically raining during that time. I was sitting there with my friends at the c******, fiddling something or talking about something or eating or watching people around,,, nah... honestly, I can't remember what we were doing back then. uh... it was raining, so probably getting a shade or whatever.... to make the story short... suddenly I caught a sight of him. of course it was raining so he probably went there to get some shade too. what surprised me was when he was walking in the rain, well not really walking considering that it was raining... more like a bit of a run... or in the middle of running and walking,,, get the picture? anyway, I didn't realized he was with this -new- girl, just a meter ahead of him, until he put his hands in her head like sheltering or covering her from the rain. Well it lasted about a minute or so, but all went in slow motion. Seems surreal, but it really did. They took a table about 6-10 meters away from ours, and what are the odds that he'll sit at a chair with a clear view on my part, probably on his part as well. Yeay! he took that seat! hoorraayy! >:( and what are the odds that, with a number of students getting some shade from the rain too, he'll see me. and yes! he did! or maybe not. (truthfully, I'm still convincing myself that I was just hallucinating). We locked eyes for a few seconds, which for me lasted like minutes, and I felt that we connected. Like he understood that look, which I know was just part of my delusions. I really don't remember if it was me who break the tension or whatever, we'll just leave it at that. It's as if that moment signaled something; something we, or more like I, wish didn't happen. and instantly, wish I was her by amy pearson was playing in my mind.

always knew that when we said goodbye
It wouldn't last forever
ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT I'D RUN INTO YOU
AND WE'D GET BACK TOGETHER........
(which basically went the other way around)

NOW YOU'RE HERE

Just like I imagined
But never once did it cross my mind
That you could move on.......

You've found someone
It breaks my heart
Cuz you're so in love

[Chorus]
I wish that my touch
Makes you smile just like that
And I wish that I had you
the way that she has
Cuz I still remember the love
I left behind
Oh I wish I was her
And you were mine

I think somebody's tryin' to talk to me
But I can't hear a word they're saying
All I can do is stare at you
I don't even know why I'm staying
Never thought, I'd cry to see you Happy Its Just I Thought that your happiness
Was right here with me

I know we're through
It's no use
Still I can't help but feel......


[Chorus]
The way that she has you (oh)
I wish that was me (I wish that was me)
There's no place on earth
That I'd rather be (rather be)
Cuz I still remember the love
I left behind
Oh I wish I was her
And you were mine

I used to be right beside you (oh no)
Now I'm not even kept inside your heart (oh no)
I put our love upon a shadow
But now it's gone
Cuz you belong to someone else.......

"I think somebody's tryin' to talk to me, But I can't hear a word they're saying. All I can do is stare at you, I don't even know why I'm staying. Never thought, I'd cry to see you Happy Its Just I Thought that your happiness Was right here with me." seriously, lol. My friends were trying to talk to me that time, but it's as if I'm in another world, my own world. they ended up saying "ok. nice talking." Then my friend suggested we better go to the library instead...

So anyway that was it. After several days, and after opening up to my friend about it, I saw him again. Well, there was still a little - I don't know what's that called. tingly, idk really - but as usual I ignored him, like he's not there, though I still have a little hope that one day he'll smile at me like he used to - which seems like never - really, it would be a start -again-. A "hi. how have you been?" would change everything, and would really turn the world upside down or inside out. Well anyway, my friend was wrong (if ever you'll read this and wasted your time reading this... I'll tell you again... YOU WERE WRONG!) hahahaha.... you said I could and might never get over this, which at some point I really thought so, but we were both wrong. I saw him again, I forgot when but it was just recently while I was running late for class, and guess what? nothing...

yes! nothing... really... nothing.... I mean no thingy or whatsoever.,,, just typical nothing.... He was just some person I've known for a time in my life, and who played a part for that time span. nothing more, nothing less.. just that ^_^ though... Back to December by Taylor Swift reminds me of the time I misinterpreted "studies first" lol. ok! enough hints...

"So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you, saying I'M SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT. and I go back to december, turn around and make it alright. I GO BACK TO DECEMBER all the time"

an event yesterday made me realized my words.... what I sounded like during that december.... although, is it just me... or is it really that.... well yeah, it happened to me yesterday though I was more like on your shoes.... and I was really pissed.... It maybe a bit late (okay! way too late!) but at least I've realized it, though I wouldn't have if it weren't for that person.... however, of course I have formulated an explanation, a lame explanation.... and that is "I didn't know how to act, or what to say during that time that's why I acted like that and sounded like that... let's just say, I weren't me" lame I know... but you'll never get the chance to read this, of course I know, you won't even bother. or if you will, which is a negative possibility, you wouldn't know that I'm already referring to you. unless.... lol....

Just ask, and I will answer ^_^ Still waiting although I know it will lead me nowhere.....