STUCK

stack? stock? HAHAHAHA..... I can't help but share this, I must say, a hell of an experience which had me wondering (wandering?) HAHAHAHA.... ok! seriously! I must stop, else I might confuse this teeny tiny brain of mine and, without a doubt, end up like... eeerrr... them.... as I was entering something on some programmed application, I asked what should I write? and she said "absorbed" so I did what a person with an average intelligence quotient would do and wrote "absorbed"... then she confidently corrected me saying "U ma'am.. absorbed" which got this tiny little think tank of mine to do its usual routine: debate with itself internally.... A part of it is now questioning both of my ears if they have heard it correctly or did she meant absurd-- which was far fetched! plus can I write absurd there? the absurd context won't fit upon using the said program,, although now that I look at it in a wider scope and see that situation as a whole,, it's the best word there is in the English (Merriam or Webster or Oxford or whatever) dictionary that could exactly describe what just happened. It's as if "absurd" was created to have a word that could perfectly define and convey that moment. But that's another story... Now since she insisted the "U" part with utmost conviction, and since I am her student at the moment, I listened to the part of my brain which says "maybe it was their TERM,,, you know how different people from different working environments have different terms right? and looking back at the TRANS-LITE incident, which I previously thought as TRANS LIGHT " and so I keyed in "ABSURBED" with no questions asked... What?!? Can't blame me!

1. after having that thought that it's their own TERM..
2. My working hours ended 3 hours ago, not to mention we don't have overtime pay!
3. I want to get this thing over and done with so I could go HOME nah... ASAP


Then, upon writing my shift report, I noticed that she used "absurbed" (it looks like "suburb" hahaha) once again, but the letter U had been encircled and a small o was written just below it using a different marking pen. So it was really indeed ABSORBED!!!! HAHAHAHAHA..... MUST READ MORE!!!!


Anyway,, taas au ang intro, but that's not the reason why this entry is entitled STUCK... 4 months.... I've been working in THIS friggin company for FOUR ignominiously arduous months! I've been meaning to hand over that letter dated a month ago but I guess I just can't find the courage to do so. Now that I'm back from my First Ever Class which was Basic Shift Management held in Microtel, Davao City, I guess I can say I am OFFICIALLY STUCK!!!!


PWEDE FAST FORWARD to 2014!!!! I swear! Advanced Shift Management will be my last class in this friggin company!! I am not gonna take up RLP nor the class after that... although both seem surprisingly tempting,, especially the class after RLP which, if I'm not mistaken, will be at Australia or it comes with a TRIP to anywhere... oh well! I can do that without being attached to this comp! 2 yrs is enough!

13th

I've been debating with myself over this matter for as long as I can remember. I was never into this job even from the beginning,, OJE pa lang. OJE pa lang gyud, I know that this was not my thing. Unfortunately, I passed the OJE even though I was late during that 2-day-evaluation, and that's one of the factors why I accepted this job and chosen it over 2 other opportunities,, make that three, including the workshop --- oohh... don't make me start blabbing about the workshop--- moving on... yeah,, well, there were several instances which made me say "I've had enough! I quit!" then at the end of the day... "but then again...." and just when I was about to doze off "ok! I can't keep on doing these things for 2 more years"... it's a never ending debate until I've settled on a choice. Either a firm choice, which I doubt will happen, or a no turning back action, which is obviously connected with the title of this entry....

There were signs presented this day to help me with my decision:
1. In the Manager's Log book, GY manager wrote something about someone submitting ze controversial letter,,.. The book did not mention any names,, LOL
2. I got an email from DTI stating that I passed that one hell of a technical exam! and that I have another oral interview on Friday,, Bad news, I have a duty on that day.. Good News, No worries for the swap... Bad News, I'm giving up "no dragon day" and must encounter face-to-face with ze mythical and most anticipated DRAGON!!!
3. Despite having a very very usual bad day (although it was worse),, people checked up on me saying "Okay ra ka ma'am? ayaw pa apekto ma'am! sagdi sila ui! ayaw ka.stress" simple words that meant a lot and surprisingly made a deep impact... Plus, "kasab.i ma'am! buotan ra man sad kaayo ka! awata si *someone na di ko feel coz ang iyang aura is di masabtan*" naks! diay?!? okay! I'm minimizing my usage of annoying (to some) words....


aaahhh.... so which is which? To pursue, continue, and in a hope that someday I'll like what I am doing.... or take that RISK!!! aaaahhh >.<


The truth is... I'm still UNDECIDED!!!!

Make-Believe

I don't know why the movie Arthur made an impact. I just watched it a few hours ago on some cable channel I'm not disclosing the name coz for one, they're not paying me, rather it's the other way around,, and two, coz I feel like being mysterious today, although I think this doesn't count. Maybe for some reason I think it's because the lady protagonist in the movie is a frustrated writer (if you know what I mean) and then Arthur told her to chase her dream, something like quit your job and focus on this (referring to her manuscript).. and she did... eventually, she published the children's book and the acknowledgement or dedication says "to Arthur, for teaching me to believe in make-believe again" something like that. pppffftt!! I wish I was a kid again,, getting what I want was relatively effortless back then. If it's that easy to chase dreams then I'm supposed to be THERE today! Not HERE!!! Although this was my choice... at least on the bright side, I have proven that I do have a talent in writing.

Why do I love writing? It's because I can temporarily escape from the real world through writing. Anything I want to happen can happen here. I can create fictitious people, make phantasmagorical things happen, and nobody can dictate nor stop me because this is my story. It might be just an illusion, but this introspective world is what keeps me going. Through this, I can still hang on to things. LOL. Just saying things to have exaggerated melodramatic effect. What? People always buy those things!

A friend once told me to keep on writing not because I have to but because I want to. Writing may not be my job, but that doesn't stop me from doing what I love. So what if I don't get paid for my prodigious creations, so what if it's never going to be a major motion picture, so what if only a few or no one will be able to read my stories,,.. FOR NOW!!! Thus, I must not stop! Someday..... I'll quote a saying I got from a famous animation movie  "If you want it, you will it.. if you will it, it will be yours!!"

As for my work,, 1month and still nowhere close to liking what I'm doing. I've sacrificed things just for this?!? I have even sacrificed my DREAM CAREER when it was right at my fingertips already!!!! I am surely INSANE!!!! The turn of events this week made me think that this is just PLAIN WRONG!! However, I am afraid that if I submit a specific letter, I don't know what's going to happen... I am still taking that test! It's future Rhean's problem if I pass that effin test!



~Them all ye brutally nice people!!!~